The Process

Paul: (sharp exhale through clenched teeth) OK, so this is what I got so far. Keep in mind, it’s the early goings. I’m not married to the concept. Ideas welcome, as always, ‘specially from you Captain Simmons.

Gene: OK, lay it on me soldier. I have a boner already.

Paul: Me too, destroyer, me too. Ok so…

Peter: Wait wait…

Paul and Gene and Ace (in perfect three-part blending): What is it PC?

Peter: I have a boner too. No…Wait…Ok, yeah. Definitely. Like a petrified banana down there.

Paul (after silently mouthing the words “petrified banana” into the piece of white paper he‘s holding): Ok. Here it is. Ok, wow. Kinda’ nervous here. Sweaty. Ok here it is.

Gene: Just say it amigo, everybody here loves you brother.

Paul: Thanks Dr. Love. Here it is: (Standing and clearing his throat, then singing in a fragile, reedy tenor):

Lick it up. Lick it up. Whoa-ohh-oh.. Lick it up. LICK it up, Whoah ohh oh.

(Total silence for 29 seconds)

Gene: Go on…

Paul: (confused) Whaddaya mean?….No. That’s it. that’s all I got so far. You like?

Peter: Uhhhh….

Gene: (takes a beat to collect his thoughts) OK. Well, first off, Paul, I think it’s great. Fucking awesome, Ok? Of course, we’ll have to sharpen it up a bit maybee-uh…

(Paul‘s face goes instant from hopeful/expectant to resigned/melancholy)

Gene:… figure out a bridge or ah….But whatever, no, it’s great. Fucking ambrosia. I mean it.

(Paul’s face now ecstatic and ebullient, he does a little clap and jump)

Peter: Am-what?

Gene: We love it. I love it. Let’s hear it again shall we? Can I get it once more?

Peter: I love it. I think it gave me wood! No wait…

Ace: I had wood yesterday.

Paul (singing a bit louder this time, gesticulating with the hand not holding the lyrics and imitating chord voicing with the word “DUM“ ) :

LICK IT UP - dum dum dum dum - LICK IT UP - dum dum dum dum dum - OHHHH OH OH!…
Weeeeeee! I’m so excited (more jumping and clapping).

Gene: you know what? I think I got it. Don’t get me wrong brother cause your words are tight and compelling as usual. I only offer suggestions, nothing we can’t veto.

Peter and Ace: Veto?

Paul: Yeah dummies, “veto”, it means “wine” in Italian.

Peter: Fuck you, does not!

Paul (hits Peter in the arm with a closed fist while speaking) : Does too taint-master! My cousins name is Vino, and it’s ‘cause my Aunty Helen likes wine.

Gene: Yes. Paul‘s right. But that’s not the point, not now. Get ready with those chords one more time maestro…(now Gene gets up, cracks knuckles, makes odd throat clearing noises before singing. in rich baritone):

LICK IT UP…

Paul: Dum Dum Dum Dum

Gene: LICK IT UP

Paul, Ace (and Peter after the first two “Dums”): Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum

Gene (louder, and with great gesture) : OH OHH OH - IT”S ONLY RIGHT NOW!!!

(All rise and high five around the room. Paul and Ace are now doing the jump/clap together.)

Paul: AMAZING. Truly inspired, as usual, god of thunder. It rocks, it’s fucking KISS, it’s TOTALLY fucking Kiss.

Ace: Genius dude. You’re like Churchill.

Gene: Right? Right? Let’s get a few takes today for some beds and we’ll spend tomorrow orgy-ing with groupies, and posting the SHIT out of our new, Paul Stanley penned masterpiece: LICK IT UP!

Paul: IT’S ONLY RIGHT NOW! You get it? See? It’s only right? Now?

Gene (thrusting out a heavily blinged hand): Brothers: Hands in! “lick it up” on three:

Gene, Paul, and Ace: ONE TWO THREE, LICK IT UP!!

Peter: Awesome…Lick what up?

(more jumping, clapping, and high fiving)