WIFE

So I want you to fuck my wife...

Uguhhhhhhhh. hrmmm.

Well?

“Well?” what’s that? “Well?” Fuckin “Well?” Dude…

What..

“What’!? “What” is that’s fucked up.

What?

Well it’s just that you’re asking me to fuck your wife. It’s not a question that you really hear, I mean like ever . That’s the first time anybody’s asked me that.

Really?

Yeah

Wow

Yeah

Well I don’t wanna make things like fucked up between us like all of a sudden I’m like…Like I become the guy

Well that’s just it. I think you are the guy

Oh really? Really…Is that it? Like a guy - your friend or whatever - he asks you one time to fuckin fuck his wife and now I’m like the creepy fuckin swingin wife fucker or whatever?…Dude that’s not right

It’s not? I dunno - I think it is right

You think it is…Dude that’s just fucked up. A million thousand other things we been through and now…

Now…This. Yes, now since you asked me to - and dude that’s fucked up too: like not to sound like a dick but could you be anymore fuckin…Fuckin low class about it? (affecting a dumb-guy voice) Like “Ugggh…I want you to fuck my wife man!…Yeah just fuckin fuck ’er sensless…

What…Dude I’m sorry. (affecting a sort of almost Julia Child-like voice) I want you to make sweeeet love to my wife. Make sure she’s got beautiful climax after beautiful climax and you both ascend to the heavens and Jesus fuckin - I dunno - has lunch with you. Nah man I want you to fuck her! Fuck my wife man!! I want you to fuck my fuckin wife. What?